Tuesday, November 09, 2004
Re-evaluating my Christianity
I guess I could give the superficial post detailing the high and low points of the last two monts, but the truth is I don't want to. The fact is that I've had some stuff on my mind and since my journaling days have gone by the wayside this is the best place to do it.
What does Christianity mean? What does Christianity mean to me? I have gone to Church my whole life, but I truly gave my life to Christ in October of 1994. For those of you wondering, I was 12. I was at a retreat with a friend's youth group and the time just seemed right. The following year I was confirmed. Basically a Catholic right of passage. A time when you (as an adult) confirm the vows that your parents and godparents made at your baptism. At the time, I was also teaching a Sunday school class to 3 year olds.
Then came high school. I still attended church regularly, but I wasn't overly involved. I went to youth group with a friend for awhile, but eventually that dropped off. Ironically enough my high school boyfriend was Catholic too, but religion wasn't something that we had in our relationship.
Fast forward a few years to college. Ironically enough in the time when most people lose their pull to go to church and find themselves drifting away from God, I found myself being pulled to God. I began going to church whenever I could find a ride. Then I met Nat...
Nat and I really started going to church together when things between us started to get serious. We both agreed that things were moving towards marriage and that we wanted to go to church as a family if/when we got married. Thus, I left the Catholic church and began attending Maryland Community Church...a nondenominational Christian church.
That was a long walk down memory lane. So, what was the point? I guess I don't feel like I have grown as a Christian. I have the desire, but not the will to accomplish what I want. What does that mean? Well, for starters, I want to make reading the Bible a daily practice...yet it is so easy to fall behind. I want for people to know that I am a Christian by my actions and the fact that I am not afraid to tell them. In other words, I want to be the kind of woman that God wants me to be. I realized the other day that if you asked my co-workers none of them would know that I am a Christian. That is not how it should be.
I guess what I have always known, but am only just realizing is that giving your life to Christ does not automatically make everything easy. As in any relationship there is work involved. I have goals that I need to set and decisions that need to be made. I need to evaluate my life. The walk may not be easy, but I take comfort in knowing that I have a strong and faithful guide.
What does Christianity mean? What does Christianity mean to me? I have gone to Church my whole life, but I truly gave my life to Christ in October of 1994. For those of you wondering, I was 12. I was at a retreat with a friend's youth group and the time just seemed right. The following year I was confirmed. Basically a Catholic right of passage. A time when you (as an adult) confirm the vows that your parents and godparents made at your baptism. At the time, I was also teaching a Sunday school class to 3 year olds.
Then came high school. I still attended church regularly, but I wasn't overly involved. I went to youth group with a friend for awhile, but eventually that dropped off. Ironically enough my high school boyfriend was Catholic too, but religion wasn't something that we had in our relationship.
Fast forward a few years to college. Ironically enough in the time when most people lose their pull to go to church and find themselves drifting away from God, I found myself being pulled to God. I began going to church whenever I could find a ride. Then I met Nat...
Nat and I really started going to church together when things between us started to get serious. We both agreed that things were moving towards marriage and that we wanted to go to church as a family if/when we got married. Thus, I left the Catholic church and began attending Maryland Community Church...a nondenominational Christian church.
That was a long walk down memory lane. So, what was the point? I guess I don't feel like I have grown as a Christian. I have the desire, but not the will to accomplish what I want. What does that mean? Well, for starters, I want to make reading the Bible a daily practice...yet it is so easy to fall behind. I want for people to know that I am a Christian by my actions and the fact that I am not afraid to tell them. In other words, I want to be the kind of woman that God wants me to be. I realized the other day that if you asked my co-workers none of them would know that I am a Christian. That is not how it should be.
I guess what I have always known, but am only just realizing is that giving your life to Christ does not automatically make everything easy. As in any relationship there is work involved. I have goals that I need to set and decisions that need to be made. I need to evaluate my life. The walk may not be easy, but I take comfort in knowing that I have a strong and faithful guide.
