Thursday, December 19, 2002
I don't actually know if anyone even reads this or not...maybe yes, maybe no but it doesn't really matter all that much to me. It's really more of a way for me to collect my thoughts and stuff...
So there are 6 days till Christmas and I have mixed feelings about the holiday. I absolutely love Christmas, but I hate what Christmas has become. I'm not going to sit here and say that I don't like exchanging gifts and things, but that isn't what Christmas is about, and it bothers me that that is what it has become. During Bible study last night Tim prayed that people would remember the true reason for the season and (even not knowing Tim all that well) I felt that he truly meant it. So often you hear the phrase "Jesus is the reason for the season," but does anyone really think about that? Sometimes I think people just say that because they know it is "the right thing to do." I guess it was just nice to hear some sincerity when talking about how we need to look past what Christmas has become and look back to what it is supposed to be. And now I am getting off of my soapbox.
Along those same lines though, Nat and I adopted what I hope will become a Christmas tradition for us. This year instead of buying each other gifts, we each picked a child off of the Salvation Army Angel Tree and bought them gifts. We had a boy and a girl, both of whom were somewhere between 8 and 10. I forget the ages exactly, but they seemed to be the largest stacks. Anyway, we bought them a pretty nice variety of clothes and toys. It made me feel pretty good. Neither Nat or I need anything else to add to the piles of stuff that we already own, especially when there are so many kids in the world who will not get a Christmas. Far to often I think we forget how truly fortunate we are.
Nat is pretty close to accepting a position. He's waiting to hear back from one more company and then a decision will be made. From the looks of things right now it will either be Gwinner, ND; Minneapolis, MN; or Chicago, IL. I think Minneapolis is in the lead right now, but I can't be completely sure about that. In the mean time I am freaking out...trying to figure out what I'm going to do without him next year. I guess I kind of built my life around him over the past couple years, but I don't know that that is a completely bad thing. I wouldn't change it for the world, but I'm nervous about not having him around. I guess I'm worried about what I'm going to do...it's been so long since I didn't have him here. Sometimes it's hard to remember college life pre Nat. I guess the thing that I am scared about the most is losing him. You think that you have a relationship that is strong enough to survive a year apart, but what if we don't? I know...if it is meant to be it will work out, but that doesn't mean I can't be scared. Nat is the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with, and the thought of that changing is a little overwhelming...
Well, I need to run to work. I don't know if this made any sense, but who cares?!?! Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
So there are 6 days till Christmas and I have mixed feelings about the holiday. I absolutely love Christmas, but I hate what Christmas has become. I'm not going to sit here and say that I don't like exchanging gifts and things, but that isn't what Christmas is about, and it bothers me that that is what it has become. During Bible study last night Tim prayed that people would remember the true reason for the season and (even not knowing Tim all that well) I felt that he truly meant it. So often you hear the phrase "Jesus is the reason for the season," but does anyone really think about that? Sometimes I think people just say that because they know it is "the right thing to do." I guess it was just nice to hear some sincerity when talking about how we need to look past what Christmas has become and look back to what it is supposed to be. And now I am getting off of my soapbox.
Along those same lines though, Nat and I adopted what I hope will become a Christmas tradition for us. This year instead of buying each other gifts, we each picked a child off of the Salvation Army Angel Tree and bought them gifts. We had a boy and a girl, both of whom were somewhere between 8 and 10. I forget the ages exactly, but they seemed to be the largest stacks. Anyway, we bought them a pretty nice variety of clothes and toys. It made me feel pretty good. Neither Nat or I need anything else to add to the piles of stuff that we already own, especially when there are so many kids in the world who will not get a Christmas. Far to often I think we forget how truly fortunate we are.
Nat is pretty close to accepting a position. He's waiting to hear back from one more company and then a decision will be made. From the looks of things right now it will either be Gwinner, ND; Minneapolis, MN; or Chicago, IL. I think Minneapolis is in the lead right now, but I can't be completely sure about that. In the mean time I am freaking out...trying to figure out what I'm going to do without him next year. I guess I kind of built my life around him over the past couple years, but I don't know that that is a completely bad thing. I wouldn't change it for the world, but I'm nervous about not having him around. I guess I'm worried about what I'm going to do...it's been so long since I didn't have him here. Sometimes it's hard to remember college life pre Nat. I guess the thing that I am scared about the most is losing him. You think that you have a relationship that is strong enough to survive a year apart, but what if we don't? I know...if it is meant to be it will work out, but that doesn't mean I can't be scared. Nat is the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with, and the thought of that changing is a little overwhelming...
Well, I need to run to work. I don't know if this made any sense, but who cares?!?! Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
